Wednesday, December 2, 2015
We Should All Be Feminists
After watching the TED talk The Danger of a Single Story given by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie this week in class, I pursued more TED talks about topics we've discussed in class. Adichie gave another powerful TED talk, titled We Should All Be Feminists. She discusses her thoughts on the way gender roles should be handled in our society.
She says that gender matters everywhere in the world, but it doesn't need to. She then claims that in order to start we need to raise our sons and daughters differently. In the ways we raise boys, "We teach boys to be afraid of fear. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves because they have to be, in Nigeria speak, 'hard man.'" On the other hand, when we raise girls, "We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, 'You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you would threaten the man. If you are the bread winner in your relationship with a man, you have to pretend that you’re not. Especially in public. Otherwise you will emasculate him.'" These are clearly two extremely different approaches. But why do they have to be so different?
She then begs the question, "What if, in raising children, we focus on ability, instead of gender? What if, in raising children, we focus on interest, instead of gender?" This brought me back to the reading of X: A Fabulous Child's Story. The world we live in is so centralized on structure. We constantly seek structure and stability in all that we do. Many people live within the confines of being defined by two genders: male and female. Adichie questions why this type of structure is so crucial to our survival.
One of the most powerful lines that is delivered in this TED talk goes as follows: "The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing who we are." We are raised on the lessons of gender, and unfortunately that will probably never change. But it is important to recognize that gender does not define a person, it only categorizes them. It is up to us to question and think about all of those lessons of gender we have internalized, and ask, do they really matter?
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I agree with you when you talk about how boys versus girls "should" be raised. I have always noticed a difference but never really thought about it. I was raised with two brothers by my single dad so my childhood might be different than others. However, I noticed I was sort of looked at as a precious piece of the group. I was somewhat favored when it came to more masculine activities. I was never held back from any opportunities but was never able to fully indulge in the activity. My brothers were taught to be tough and I was taught to look pretty and be polite. I will never understand where this started and why it has to continue in our society. I like the most powerful line that you added at the end. Conforming to gender norms means we are defining what we are and not who we are. From the moment we are born we are taught gender and throughout our childhood we are reminded every single day what is normal in society. Our personal self should not be determined by our gender but by other factors and characteristics. I don't know if gender will always matter or if we can get rid of the lessons we are taught at such a young age and replace them with gender neutral lessons.
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