"Boys will be boys"

This article essentially highlights a scenario where, as a joke, a father poses with his daughter’s Homecoming date to mimic the couple’s photo. After it’s posted a comment on Facebook reads, “Anything you do to my daughter, I will do to you.” This situation, and others very similar have always been seen as jovial, and are even encouraged among fathers with daughters.

The article branches off into why the classic, over-protective father to his daughter situation is completely offensive; stating that it is an insult to a boy’s parents and their ability teach him to decipher between right and wrong, the boy’s ability to make the right choices, and the daughter’s standards in a partner, or skills in assessing a situation that is potentially dangerous.

I completely agree that these situations are inappropriate, and altogether perverse. This mindset lends itself to the idea that boys are incapable of acting with reason, and that hormones decide their actions. Boys should be taught that they are in control of their hormones, not the other way around. Teenage sexuality not only impacts boys, but girls as well. They can be equally interested and curious.

 Because of this, I believe it’s also wrong to think of girls as innocent and incapable of determining a level of danger, and having the knowledge to handle the situation. Girls should be raised with the skills and confidence to make safe and healthy decisions for themselves.

Parents should attempt to break this common idea by teaching both sons and daughters responsibility for their actions and the ability to make good choices.


www.huffingtonpost.com/kasey-ferris/my-son-does-not-need-to-b_b_8338402.html

"I'm not pregnant, just fat"

I recently watched this video by the Huffington Post where they talked to Tia Mowry about her recent pregnancy rumors.  She posted a picture on Instagram that was a photo of a pregnancy test that said "just fat" to kind of comically debunk the rumors.  In the interview she goes on to talk about how it is quite ridiculous how she can't just gain a little weight and be happy without people criticizing her for it.  She talks about how we're always constantly putting each other down and looking for things that we can criticize about one another.  Not only is it a form of body shaming to constantly be pestering someone about their weight and why they're gaining weight, but it's just plain rude.  She talks about how we live in a society that is very structured around criticizing others and prejudices.  We have a hard time accepting people for who they are whether it has to do with the way they look, their religion, their sexual orientation, and more. 

I think that this video brings up a really good point about how we view each other.  There seems to be a lack of love and kindness when it comes to dealing with other people, especially people that we don't know.  We can so easily judge someone based on their weight or what they believe without even getting to know them.  Pertaining to body shaming, I think that many times, women get the majority of the criticism.  Whether it's from men or other women, we are constantly judged on our appearance.  Just like Muslims are judged for their religion and the LGBT community judged for their sexual orientation, these things do not define us.  We are more than the labels given to us by society and it's time that we stop being put down and judged for them. 

Tia brings up the point that we should be working as a society to encourage kindness and openness among each other instead of constant criticism.  The way we see and treat others is a good indication of how we see ourselves.  I think that this particular topic is very relevant to today because of the promotion to stop body shaming and also the prejudices that we have been seeing recently against the LGBT community, but most recently towards Muslims.  Instead of treating people like we should, like human beings, we treat people based on stereotypes and labels. It is definitely time we move past this primitive trend of judgment and prejudice in society.

Video/article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tia-mowry-pregnancy-rumors-body-shaming_56658572e4b08e945feff09c

Islam is Largely Misunderstood

Everything that is happening in the media and everything we have discussed in this class connects to my personal life. Funny enough, just like Marjane I see the political interfering with my personal experience. Donald Trumps idiotic and problematic hateful statements, America's response to recent terrorism, and constant comments on Facebook specifically all have contributed to this country's growing fear and hatred of Islam and those who support and believe in it. One person I know who is frequently combating hate and oppression is my mom. About 7 or 8 years ago, my mom sought religion and for the first time in her life found something worth believing in: Islam. She became Muslim and supported my individuality and freedom to not conform to any religion. At the time, I hardly knew anything about her religion, but I never associated it with terrorism. In my opinion, that's juvenile and discriminatory. Over the years in fact, I learned from her that Islam has beautiful and uniquely refreshing perspective than monopolous Christianity. For example, every year Muslims fast for Ramadan (a month long time period) in order to show God their appreciation for food and water, and to purify their souls. They cannot eat or drink anything while the sun is up, and they cannot stuff themselves in preparation for each day. If you've ever fasted, you understand how difficult this is. But one cool thing I learned was that if a Muslim forgets and happens to slip up and swallow food or water--like my mom did when she tasted her homemade salsa while making it--then it is considered a gift from God. How amazing is that?

Another thing that I learned was that wearing the hijab (veil) is optional for women. It says that in the Quran. My mom, white, blond, blue-eyes, athletic, independent single mom who is always working on and renovating the house, chooses not to wear head scarves, unless she is praying of course. It just does not suit her and the activities she participates in. But she does choose to wear more modest clothes in public (not just because she is Muslim but also because she's getting old) that cover her shoulders and thighs. Now, my mom plays softball, volleyball, and works out every day, so work out clothes are the most 'revealing' outfits she wears. She's just like any other strong woman, but she just chooses to worship God differently. She does not eat pork because Muslims believe pork is unclean (which actually it is very unhealthy and bad for you) but she loves stuffing herself full of other yummy food. She's just another human being, and just because stupid people say Islam=Terrorism, does not mean it's true.

Unfortunately, people are stubborn and hateful. Its sad to know that my mom has to really trust someone before she reveals her religious identity. For years, my mom hid it from her parents and her own siblings because she was afraid of their reaction. It reminds me of someone coming out. Today, only a few people in my family know about my mom, and it is a sensitive subject when discussing current events. I like to think that my mom is addressing all these misconceptions that surround Muslims and Islam with every person she talks to about it. I think Satrapi is also achieving this, and I am extremely grateful for reading this book. More people should read it! In fact, just the other night I told my mom everything I learned about Iran's history and my own ignorance about the topic, and I felt really connected with her. She seemed to really appreciate my bringing it up, and now I feel like I understand more about the issues she faces as an American Muslim woman, and how women in extremist Islamic governments differ in their experiences. It is wrong to assume that all Muslims are terrorists or extremists, because as we all know, this is realistically not the case.

Super Dads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8Af3XJuvVQ

In this YouTube we see a bunch of “super dads” playing with their children. In today’s society we sometimes forget about these great patriarchal individuals teaching proper ethics and morals. Today, it is all about the parents and families experiencing turmoil and unease. It is easy to get lost in these stories about parents hurting their children and neglecting them, so as a whole we have almost lost our sense of family and the connections we need to have as family as a society. The main thing to think about here is the obligation of proper parenting. When that duty isn’t met then something has to be done about it. We cannot get caught up as a society and as individuals about what others are doing, but what is best for our own family.

            This made me thing about the socially constructed problems that we are facing today. Parents are always worrying about the exposure to social media and different postings on the internet that could expose their children to content that they do not want them seeing, but the ironic thing is the parents give these children the access. Many of the people from older generations always ask what is wrong with my generation and the younger generation, but they are the ones that raised us. Society gives so much freedom to children with cell phones and electronic devices like laptops and tablets that it is impossible for them not to continue to stumble upon content that is meant for an older audience. Now, off of any device you can go onto vine or twitter and find videos of young kids fighting or swearing and being disrespectful. That alone blows my mind because if my parents would have ever seen me doing something like some of the content in videos on the internet, I would have been in for the punishment of my lifetime. It just is almost comical that society gives children a loaded gun and expects them not play around with it. So in conclusion I found this video extremely refreshing compared to all the other insane videos circulating the web and we need to reward all the “super dads” out there.

Sex Work and the Law's Devaluation of Women's lives

This is a topic that's been on my mind for quite some time.  I spent half of my senior year of high school, 3 summers, and 2 winter breaks working in a liquor store.  Some of our regular customers were sex workers and except for when they where accompanied with Johns they were polite and friendly customers.  This summer I was working a day shift solo and this blond woman came in.  Her body language suggested she was experiencing some sort of hardcore drug withdrawal as that wasn't too uncommon among our customers.  When she reached the counter I started to ring her up I noticed that she immediately began flirting with me and that's when I realized she was a prostitute.  She was clearly trying to pull of a scam I have seen attempted on coworkers, were one will find a mark who is a naive looking man, try to convince him to that she want's to have casual sex and then after it's done demand a large sum of money with a pimp present.  I discreetly let on I wasn't interested so she left, but afterwords I could not stop thinking about how messed up she looked.  She was emaciated, her ID said mid 30's but she looked like she was in her early 50s, the way she talked suggested heroin addiction and her teeth backed up that claim, which is a common tool among pimps to keep their working girls prisoners as they control the access to the drug.  I could not stop thinking about how she ended up in that situation, who she used to be, and if anyone out there still cared about her.
 I thought about a good friend of mine who works in the legal side of the sex industry, about how she's told me that she is not ashamed of her profession, just the fact that she cant seem to be able to find work anywhere else, and I worried about her stalkers.
I'm going to avoid the debate over whether sex work is demeaning to women and just say in it's very dangerous in it's current form.  No one cares for them, most people don't even see them as human beings.  Regardless of where one stands on this issue, I think we can agree something needs to be done on that front because it's never going away.  The worst part is that law enforcement is often more dangerous.

http://www.vocativ.com/news/239316/national-blacklist-for-sex-workers/

The F-Word

http://www.themarysue.com/emma-watson-uses-the-f-word/

I send out great kudos to Emma Watson for standing her ground and being firm in her beliefs. The article I have linked above is a recent release, exposing how this 25 year old actress and feminist was advised to refrain from saying the word feminism in a speech she was giving to the United Nation’s HeForShe Campaign on the specific topic of women equality and feminism itself! I really liked the quote: “If women are terrified to use the word, how on earth are men supposed to start using it?” I believe this is a very important realization Watson had because it is great evidence of how women must realize the worth and value of their beliefs, otherwise men will simply overlook these types of issues. When women are shy and refrain from being just as firm around men as men are around women, men continue to see a woman who appears to not believe in her equality enough to have a backbone and this thus gives man little to no reason to want to call themselves feminists too.

This reminded me of the part during Persepolis when Marjane stood up against her school board to simply point out the fact that if the women in her class were to follow the new order and wear longer veils, it would negatively interfere with their work. Marjane was called into the office for this and was told to back down from the fight or else there would be consequence. The article above links to this part in the book because I feel it shows a great example of how women are taught to keep their opinions to themselves, even when they are great and helpful opinions.

Unfortunately, women are typically viewed as rude or overbearing when they try to bring up a fair argument and this prevents a lot of women from wanting to be openly opinionated. By doing this to women, it negatively cuts in to the potentially powerful impact they are capable of making.

I am so thankful that Emma Watson was strong enough to take charge of her own speech because her speech has impacted the world. Her use of the word feminism turned out to be extremely powerful to the public instead of segregating the world (like she was warned it would do). Because Emma Watson chose to break down the socially constructed, unspoken rule of women to obey orders, she made great progress for women equality, taught the world the proper definition of feminism, and became a deacon of light for those fighting for equal rights.

Hate Crime

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/05/heritage-muslim-benghazi_n_5559981.html

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Muslims-Face-Bigotry-in-Wake-of-Paris-Attacks-353170781.html

During a panel discussion on the attack of on the Benghazi which left four Americans dead, a Muslim women speaks out on her faith. She tells the panel that there are 1.8 billion Muslims whose faith are not being properly represented. She was quickly snapped at by one of the panelist representative who made and ugly remark at her. The panelist representative basically belittled what she said by telling her no one is thinking about Muslims and their views all they care about is that four Americans died. The panelist then goes on to say that because she brought it up the panelist had to lay out the facts. The panelist mentions that of course not all Muslims are terrorist but 150,000 to 300,000 are. This settle bash at Muslims is why our country is afraid of all Muslims. Though the panelist was only spitting out facts the way she went about it created controversy. The video can be viewed in the link above.

Another article discusses how the devastating attack on Paris affects Muslims everywhere. Omar Alnajjar says that just because they are Muslim does not mean Muslims everywhere need to be blamed. He says he is not like them because they are terrorist who will kill anybody. After the Paris attack American senators made Muslims a target for hate crimes by making statements like they refuse to help any Syrian refugees in fear that some will be terrorist trying to exploit the system. Farhana Khera, the president and executive director of Muslim Advocates tries his best to keep the situation controlled by denouncing the attack on Paris and continuing to raise funds to help refugees find safe passage to the United States. Despite these peaceful attempts the year began with the killing of three Muslim students and the threats still continue.

Much like these article the book Presepolis by Marjane Satrapi touches on the segregation Muslim women feel not just in the United States but in their own community. When Marji visited the Western Europe only to be surprised and taken back that Americans viewed her country as evil. This was surprising because she saw herself as a victim. She is forced as a women to wear veils and full-body clothes. She moved from the country to go live with nuns to avoid being a victim in her later years. All these examples of how Muslims are being targeted should open all our eyes to better recognize hate and racism when we see it so we can stand up against it.

The Daycare Dilemma

Should your kids be put in day care?  It is a question that many sets of parents must answer in the United States.  Many people will say that abandoning your kids and putting them in someone else’s care can have negative or harmful effects on the children.  However, studies have shown that this is not true.  Many studies will say that daycare can have many positive effects on children.  So what is really the question that is being asked here?  Are we really asking about whether or not the kids should be at home or are we really asking about whether or not the mother should be at home?  In Kimmel’s text that we read in class titled “The Constructed Problems of Contemporary Family Life”, he says that the real question being asked is whether or not women should be working outside of the home.  Why is this?  We have also seen in class in the Rosie the Riveter movie that women were thought of as being workers within the home, unless something such as a war would prove otherwise.  After the war was over, women were supposed to go back to the home and work just as they were before the war.  The fact that we are still battling this issue in today’s world is baffling.  It is very common for women to work outside of the home in today’s world.  In the article that I have read on my own by Melinda Moyer, she says that “It’s impossible to predict how day care is going to affect an individual child, like, you know, your actual kid”.  Although it is impossible to know what the outcome of daycare will be for your child, we know that there are some positive and possibly some negative effects.  However, according to Moyer’s article, the negative effects such as being slightly more aggressive, are negligible and barely measurable at all.  So, in my opinion, the choice of daycare is not about the child’s health.  We all know that mothers want the best for their children, and that includes health.  But if the mother is working and is unable to be in the home to adequately care for the child, then daycare seems to be the best option.  Our world has turned this question on the children, when in reality, it is really questioning the mother’s care for the child and whether or not she feels she should not work outside of the home in order to be there for the child.

The Daycare Dilemma

Article link posted above.

Magazines and Media have more representation

In the article Teen Mags, how to get a guy, drop 20 pounds and lose your self esteem by Anastacia Higginbotham, it explains how the politics of teen magazines work. Basically the media gets models that embody their unrealistic standard of beauty, then alter the looks of these models so they can sell certain products or clothing. The article discussed how most of the models in magazines are skinny and white, but now magazines are making more of an effort to include more women of color in their spreads. Not just the random light skinned black girl who is just as skinny as the white girl, but girls with afros and other natural hair styles, and curvier black girls as well. There are also more Hispanic people and Asian people in magazine spreads.  Recently, Nickelodeon star turned social activist and budding superstar Zendaya was made into a Barbie doll, making her one of the first black women to be made into a Barbie Doll. The media has also made more efforts to give minorities more opportunities to shine, because representation is important. Some examples of this include the remake of Annie as a black girl as Annie, and a live version of The Wiz. In conclusion, the media is making more of an effort to include everyone and more people are represented, making it easier for young girls and women to have higher self esteem.

Models Are People Too

After watching the Ted Talk “Looks Aren’t Everything, Believe Me, I’m a model”, by Cameron Russell, my perspective on body image and appearance was complete led flipped around. This particular speech aims at portraying the reality and severity of the daily life of what our society considers a “model”. Cameron strongly begins her talk by entering the stage in a tight short black dress with tall heels and then quickly changes into a less revealing, and less appealing long floral skirt and large sweater. Right off the bat the audience is able to see just how looks can be the make or break it of a person’s appearance.  Cameron then goes on to explain how so-called privlaged she was to happen to win the “genetic lottery”. Moreover, she adds an excellent comparison by saying that when young girls say they want to be a model it’s just as similar as when someone says, “I want to win the lottery”. You don’t get to choose that, it just happen to some individuals rather than other.

            Cameron further develops her speech into the description of today’s media and how the images we may see throughout ads; commercials, newspapers, and magazine are certainly not what they are made out to be. The pictures are false, she explains. She even admits that she is completely the opposite of what photos of her portray her as.

Throughout her Ted Talk I realize I am completely interested in this topic because of how I was never before able to see this side of it. When we see these outcomes, for example, a magazine, we don’t consider the background of that individual posing awkwardly to attempt to look “sexy”. We don’t bother to understand their story or even their own views on this topic, and that’s why this particularly stuck out to me.

As the speech continues, Cameron also includes a very interesting point where she discusses questions that she is sometimes asks and how she answers them. One that stuck out to me personally is when the young girls would tell her that they wanted to become models when they grew up and she answers “why?!” so concerned. It’s relieving how she responds that you can literally be anything in the world that you want to be and out of that you think you want to be a model?? She then transforms her argument into that after awhile the attention and focus on her appearance becomes exhausting. She admits that beauty isn’t everything because she doesn’t want to just be noticed as a “pretty girl” because girls who look similar are so much deeper than that.

This especially is what made me reflect on this video and consider the ways in which we dehumanize individuals like this and rarely give them the respect they deserve. Models are human too, and I believe we, as a society should start acting like it.

Working as a Dad

The other day I came across an interesting article about how dads now a day are finding it hard to fulfill both their duties as a father and their duties at work.  Still being fairly young myself I have never really thought about these things as I do not really plan on having any kids and I do not have a job that I work at year round.  The article talked about how a man named Dustin Baylor had always wanted to be a doctor but also wanted to be a dad, however, Dustin had no idea how hard it would be to have both of these dreams come true at the same time.  It talks about how difficult it is to be woken up at night by both his pager and his kids and how trying to succeed in both areas of his life can be overwhelming but in the end worth it.  This got me thinking about my dad.  Growing up my dad would have to work his 9-5 job every day but every day he would also come home and sometimes cook dinner or have to take me or my sister to practice.  I never really thought about how difficult it must have been for him sometimes when he had to come home tired after a long day and wanting to take a nap but his two children pestering him to take them somewhere.  I honestly have no idea how he did it, but he did, every day without complaints.

In the article chore wars it discusses about how women and men now a days tend to split the work up evenly but society still thinks that women are the ones doing almost all of the work.  It also talks about how men now a days are expected to be involved fathers but are not always sure how because when they were growing up their fathers weren’t expected to have that role so they have no role models to copy after.  I think that as a result of the first point where dads are expected to become more involved will solve the second problem where dads do not have guides on how to handle both responsibilities.  As a result after a few generations where the dads are more involved and setting an example for their sons as to how to balance work and raising a child men will figure it out and be able to balance both of these jobs.  I know my dad set a good example for me and I hope one day I can set a good example for my son.



http://www.today.com/money/many-dads-struggle-have-it-all-balancing-work-family-826045

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM4Xe6Dlp0Y

In The Ted Talk, Looks Aren’t Everything, Believe Me I’m A Model, by Cameron Russell, the speaker talks about her experience of winning “the genetic lottery.” As a well-known model Cameron talks about her experience with modeling and people that she meets that aspire to become a model. Cameron talks about how the industry in filled with girls who won the genetic lottery at birth, and saying you want to become a model is like saying you want to win the lottery.

            She then talks about  how the models we see in magazines and in different ads, are not real people. She states how in real life she is nothing like what she portrays she is like in photographs in magazines. The models we see in magazines are a fixed image of what many people in the industry want to sell to the customers that are reading the magazine.

            Cameron later discusses how when young girls ask her how they can become a model; she simply replies with the question, “why do you want to be a model?” She tells the young girls that there are so many aspiring jobs in this world and to be a model is not something you should necessarily aspire to be because it is not a  job. She mentions that as a model she gets a lot of free stuff but not for the reasons that she would want free stuff for. She tells stories about how stores have given her free dresses and police officers have not made her pay for tickets because of her beauty. She says many people that she meets have a hard time getting past her beauty and do not try to know her on a deeper level. At runway shows while she is getting made up she will look around at the other models and witness the most self-conscience girls that exist. Models are very self-conscience because a lot of the time these girls think that all they have is their looks. She says that it is draining when people are so focused on your looks all the time.

            After watching this Ted Talk, I reflected on what Cameron said and the points that she made. I always think about how magazines portray women and how it makes young girls feel about them, but I never looked at it from the models perspective. I never looked at the bigger picture and reflected on how magazines and the media make models feel exhausted. Our standard of beauty in today’s culture is causing from frustration from not only the reader’s side but also the models’.

The "Average Black Girl"

Throughout the course of this semester, we have discussed many different stereotypes.  More specifically, this week we have talked about Iranian stereotypes within the book “The Perfect Persepolis”.  Each of us face stereotypical judgement every day of our lives.  However, depending upon our race, ethnicity, gender, or class, some are judged more than others.  The video that I have attached above speaks to resist the idea of the stereotypical black woman.  The woman in the video, Ernestine Johnson challenges our society’s idea of the stereotypical black woman through a poem.  In the poem, she clearly identifies different elements of the stereotypical black woman.  At one point in the video, she says “they say I’m not the average black girl because I am so well spoken, poised and full of etiquette”.  This is an element of the stereotype that I believe African-American women suffer from quite often.  Society has this idea of black women and expects that all women who fall into this category act this way.  This belief that black women are not civil, and do not possess etiquette, is very negative to say the least.  Stereotypes are generally negative in nature, and that is why people suffer from them.  People can already have an idea about another person in their head without ever getting to know them.  As Ernestine Johnson continues to speak, she also discusses how when people see that she does not follow the stereotype of black women, they become surprised.  That is why they tell her that she is “not the average black girl”.  After continuing to challenge these stereotypes, she concludes her poem with how she herself would describe a black girl.  She speaks about those who fought for racial justice, and racial/gender equality.  Those women are who she believes should be considered the average black girl.  So when people then try to compliment her by saying that she is not like the average black girl, the intended compliment becomes an insult due to the negative connotation that is the stereotype of black women.  Our world is full of stereotypes.  People like Ernestine Johnson should not have to stand up and defend themselves, but as a result of the world’s negative views, some feel responsible to bring these negatives to the light.  Whether it be a result of race, gender, ethnicity, or class, stereotypes do nothing but bring people down, whereas our world should be building each other up.  

Ted Cruz and Reproductive Rights

Another election Cycle leads to the inevitable bickering of the left and right over women’s reproductive rights. This article quotes presidential hopeful Ted Cruz in a town Hall meeting he held for supporters in the important swing state of Iowa. Ted Cruz addresses the long-standing stigma that the right is generally t old white men who are trying to dictate what women can and cannot do with their bodies. According to senator Cruz the right has never wanted to limit contraceptives but that notion is nothing but propaganda being spewed from the left to demonize the Gop. Senator Cruz then went on to scrutinize Hillary Clinton’s reproductive rights position without explicitly giving his own. The saddest part of this exchange was how political it was. It was blatantly obvious that the answer to this question about women’s reproductive rights was a political one.  Ted Cruz could of taken this opportunity to spell out his position on reproductive rights and without a time limit like in debates he could of not only stated his stance but why he felt that this policy was the best for the women of America. When politicians don’t do this it makes me ask: are these answers really based on what’s best for the voters? Or does this politician think that’s what his constituents want to hear and believe that this vague left-hating response will give him or herself a spike in the poles. But what Ted Cruz did give me is an opportunity to ask the question: how political should reproductive rights be? In my opinion and I think most women would agree that reproductive rights have become too politicized. This starts with our countries view of reproductive rights: these issues were once very Taboo so they were seldom on the for front of policy until Rowe v Wade in 1973 and since then we have seen a dramatic spike in policy aimed toward reproductive rights. In my opinion like in most things there is some level of government regulation needed in relation with reproductive rights to do things like prevent third trimester abortions but what if for the most part we let reproductive rights be just what they’re called, rights; Inalienable, absolute rights. It’s no wonder why some women don’t want the government having say in their reproduction or contraceptive decisions. Angela Davis illustrates in her writing “reproductive rights” how the government in the past has used reproductive rights to push its own agenda even systematically limit the populations of people of color. I don’t see why there is this level of regulation needed in what seems to me to be a very personal matter in which our government should have little to no opinion.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/30/politics/ted-cruz-condoms-iowa/index.html