After reading the article, "Why Women Should Hate the Patriarchy Instead of Each Other" (http://feminspire.com/why-women-should-hate-the-patriarchy-instead-of-each-other/), I thought it brought up a very important topic that is really relevant in today's society. The article talks about how hate between women is perpetuated by society and how it has become so easy for women to hate each other.
I don't know how many times I've heard a girl say something like "I only have friends who are boys because I just hate girls, they're so dramatic and we just don't get along". So many girls claim to hate other girls and I just have never understood it. Personally, I've always had a ton of girls as friends that I've been able to confide in and relate to. In the article, it talks about how by perpetuating this society that pins women against each other, it's easier to oppress us as a whole. Even from a very young age, we're taught to view other girls as competition instead of as friends. The article asks this question, "Why are little girls told that if a girl is mean to them, they should avoid her, but if a boy is mean to her, it means he likes her?". I think this is a really important question that a lot of girls have had experience with. We're giving men so much more power by constantly being against each other instead of standing together.
One part of the article talks about how the media plays a huge role in the hatred that women have for each other. By photoshopping images of women to be unattainable, women begin to become more and more self conscious. So many times, these unrealistic standards for women cause many women to hate themselves. When we see a woman who is confident in herself, we often project our frustration onto her. Also, we begin setting these high societal standards for all women and fall into this trap of disliking women who don't fall into these societal gender norms and expectations.
Every time I go on Facebook, I see women posting about how they hate another woman, whether it be a celebrity or someone they know. I've seen countless articles about how certain famous women are ruining society or corrupting people. Instead of lifting each other up, we're constantly tearing each other down. We end up playing into this idea that women hate other women and we should only see each other as competition. So many times, when we see a beautiful women, we immediately see her as a threat and begin tearing her down. I saw a quote that had said "one women's beauty doesn't diminish your own". I think that this is really powerful and it's something that a lot of women don't live by.
We give the patriarchy so much slack that we don't even realize that it's pinning us against each other. I think it's about time that women start loving and respecting each other and standing together. Together, we can make a big impact on the structure of society, but until we stop hating each other, we will never be able to make that change.
I really agree with everything you're saying here. Girls are constantly putting one another down because of these societal issues. Another interesting angle that shows this animosity is one girl actually being "one of the guys." Having more guy friends than girl friends often negatively affects how others view a girl. Other girls may see her as more likely to engage in sexual activity because boys are associated with such behavior and by proxy, so is she. Guys are less likely to date a girl who is "one of the guys" because she meets fewer of the feminine gender requirements and things they are taught to seek in a significant other and also around other men who may attempt to “steal their girl.”
ReplyDeleteMany think it is popular or cool to be more interested in more masculine things than things that are popular for women. I like to use the example of how pumpkin spiced things are constantly looked down upon and what a joke "stuff white girls like" has become. Liking anything flavored like pumpkin is taboo, though in joking way, but ridiculed nonetheless. However, the love of bacon, which has been branded “masculine” is very hip. Manly lumberjack men love bacon and therefore it is inherently cool. A girl is likely to make fun of another for ordering a pumpkin spiced latte because guys have deemed such a flavor embarrassing. These are two very small and insignificant examples, but that both show that girls are constantly pitted against one another as you stated in your post.
I found this article to be very interesting, and very accurate. For as long as I can remember I have fallen into the trap of avoiding a mean girl, but chasing a mean boy. The society that we live in has women in a constant competition with one another. We compete over men, looks, jobs, and overall social status. If a woman has something that another woman wants, it's an automatic reason to hate her. We constantly find ourselves tearing women down over extremely minuscule things, but it has become so natural to women that we do not even realize we're doing it. However, this article points out that the real root of this problem is not hating another woman, it's more about hating ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThis article reminded me of the film "He's Just Not That Into You." The film portrays several different women living different lives searching for love. The women constantly blame their trials and tribulations on other women that must be involved with their love interest. However, the turning point in the film is when the women finally realize maybe it's not the other woman, and maybe it's just them. Maybe it's just that the man simply is just not into them. This stresses the idea that before women pass judgements about other women by overanalyzing them, they should first analyze themselves. Nobody is perfect and making comparisons to others will never change that. The competition that goes on everyday amongst women needs to come to an end. This competition needs to end, but never will until we first learn to accept ourselves. By first stop hating ourselves, we can eventually stop hating each other.