Adorable blonde haired, blue eyed, baby Storm is sparking some very interesting debate in the news recently. Storms parents have decided not to let anyone, including its relatives, in on the sex of the baby. So "it" is not know to be a boy, or a girl, but rather an "it". As stated in the video attached, Storms parents are not sharing the gender of the child with others as a "tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become", they say they are giving Storm and their other children, "the freedom to choose who they want to be". Storms parents call the choices other parents make for their children "obnoxious". The parents were inspired after reading the fiction story X- A Fabulous Child's Story, and decided to turn it into real life.
Storms parents share with us, that both their older sons prefer long hair in curls and braids, their favorite colors are purple and pink, they wear sparkly earrings and fingernail polish, many people mistake them for girls. These children prefer not to go to school, so they "unschooled" at home, a form of schooling where not books or learning materials are used but rather the children get to explore their curiosity and ask questions.
It seems to me that the family is not actually letting the children choose their fate, but they are praising the behavior of acting out the stereotypes of the opposite sex. They may not be doing it on purpose but they are giving positive attention to their boys when they do "girl things" because it seems the children are proving their point and their experiment is going well. Are these parents actually able to interact with Storm and his brothers with out a gender bias? The parents are acting extreme and are setting their child up to be a freak. Sexual identity is not something we should try and remove or be ashamed of, but that we should take pride in. Using a child as a social experiment is cruel and self serving. It seems as the parents are looking for publicity, they are on their way to a great reality TV show. The child doesn't have to be subject to traditional societal roles, but shouldn't be denied of what "it" is.
Generally, most parents will teacher their children what they should act and what should forbid based on their physical sexes. For Instance, after our birth, we are taught to be gentle and quiet if we are girls, and are taught to be strong and not weep on the other opposite. Similarly, girls are dress in pink, and wearing long hair; boys are dress in dark color and with short hair. However, not all the children prefer the established standard toward their sexes. “Why cannot I wear in pink” some boys may doubt. They might hate their nature bodies, “why am I in a male’s body?” Someone may wish to do surgery if possible, someone may take opposite hormones. If our society does not build the structure based on sex to rule how men act as men, women act as women, the transgender children probably do not struggle to change their body appearance and suffer the bias form peers such as that taking off his pants to mock a manly girl with no penis.
ReplyDeleteAs Laina Genovesi says, “Sexual identity is not something we should try and remove or be ashamed of, but that we should take pride in. Using a child as a social experiment is cruel and self-serving.” I agree with her opinion, if a child born is a transgender one, we should not discriminate against it. However, we should not make a genderless kid on purpose because the parents’ behavior might increases the possibility of becoming transgender one for a kid. When the baby grows up, he may suffer more mental pressure from others, and probably expects do surgery to change his physical sex. If the parents want to do genderless ones, just do themselves. Its father can dress mother’s heels; its mother also can shave her face, we should respect their choices, but do not try on their kids as a lab rat.
What the parents are doing to their children is boarder-line child abuse in my opinion, and it has little to do with raising a genderless child. They are trying to make a point to society and they are doing it with children that aren't able to give consent to what is happening.
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy that they call other families that 'assign' a gender to their child "obnoxious." I find it obnoxious when parents drag their kids out and use them to brag to everyone else. They do this by pointing out how the older boys like long hair and wear pink. Do the boys continue to pick those colors on their own or do the parents thrust those colors upon them now. I personally feel the parents are reinforcing the gender roles the children picked at one point in their life.
The last part that upsets me is that the parents aren't thinking about the future for their kids. At some point in the future, this 'it' child is going to interact with people outside the family. If the child isn't prepared for that interaction and the response that IT might get, that could be traumatic for the child. A parents responsibilities is to raise a child to be a health and happy person in society. Not an unschooled person that only knows what the parents let them discover on their own.
I think this is a very interesting experiment that more families may have tried without gaining so much publicity. I don’t think its wrong trying this out at such a young age, but they will need to stop it before letting the child make the decision. As in our one reading discussing the way boy and girl babies are treated differently. Girls are usually talked to more and boys are left to explore more on their own. The reading said the brain expands five times while the baby is and infant growing into a toddler. I feel these are some of the most critical years where nurturing plays a vital role in a baby’s personality.
ReplyDeleteSuch as in the movie Meet the Fockers the grandpa wanted everyone to talk to the baby like an adult and not a child. This is an interesting concept in the same way as not letting people know the gender of the baby. Then everyone handles the baby in a neutral way and not holding it more for a girl and letting the boy pick himself up. The baby gets to experience a childhood from both angles of nurturing possibly making the infant better-rounded. Although I think when the baby is at the age of more understanding its sexual parts going into elementary school, the child needs to be guided towards the “norm” of their sex. School can be the most traumatizing years for children and setting them down a path for scrutiny as such a young age can leave a lifelong impact.
Though the idea of a genderless society may be an idealist one, is it realist one. In reality Storm’s parents are using their child to make a statement in society. The parents have taken away their children choice, by isolating their children from society. Gender plays important role throughout everyone lives. If the parents don’t show both side of their child choice then is the child really deciding to be neutral. Our society is built on norms, from these norms people find their sense of worth and identities as Lorber states. Lorber may believe that these norms have a negative effects on society, however is it right to separate these children from feeling a sense of identity. I do believe that gender does play to big of a role in children lives, but a parent can raise their children to be neutral to gender without excluding the children.
ReplyDeleteStorm is still too young to yet to be affected by its parents action, the real problem is there older child. With no schooling these children do not have any other interaction. As a parent they should want the best for all the children. The parents should not focus on gender but rather helping the children improve their life. If they truly treat their children not to care about gender then it will be the children choice to part take in their parents view. Without interaction from other children their children will never actually know how to interact in our society. This does not have to do with gender, this affect the children’s whole lives. A world where children lose their choice to grow into themselves seems just as bad as a world where society decides the norms.
I understand what the parents are trying to do, but I think that they are going about the wrong way. If they want to raise the baby as genderless they should dress Storm in 'neutral' colors and present the child with an equal amount of stereotypical 'boy' and 'girl' toys. I also agree with Lana that the parents are blatantly reinforcing female norms in their male children by having a positive reaction when they favor 'girl' things.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the articles that we read in class focus on how people shouldn't impose a specific gender on a child, but I believe that it should go both ways and that Storm's parents should at least tell the child it's sex. I just hope that everything works out for all of their children and that they aren't relentlessly bullied and are able to live a happy life.
I personally have to agree with Jacob because the parents are doing an experiment to prove to society that gender is socially constructed. The child has no say in the situation so how might that affect the child as it grows up and eventually has to face the concept that everyone else has a gender and it is genderless. Like the story "X: A Fabulous Child's Story" points out when the child is in public and has to go to the restroom either marked women or men which will the child choose?
ReplyDeleteI understand the parents are trying to make a point to society and not necessarily trying to be harmful to the child but if they were raised with a gender and have survived life this long then gender can't be to harmful to humans.
I didn't understand why the parents do not feel it is alright to at least let the child know what his or her sex is. They can still allow the child to make the decisions that they want and be the person they want to be without "persuading" the child to be one way or the other. It may be more detrimental to the child to develop certain characteristics such as wearing long hair if a boy or wearing work boots and camouflage if a girl to find later that the public makes them an "outcast" because of their tendencies. I don't think that it is right for people to judge but unfortunately that seems to be the nature of society. I'm sure that is what the parents are hoping to change but at whose expense and at what cost?
I mean, I love what this family is teaching their community, and the world, but I agree that the children shouldn't be denied of what their sex is. There needs to be a new approach for raising kids so their generation can have a new "norm" of gender role playing where sex is solely biological and gender is either free to choose, or completely a lost concept. As for right now, lets just teach adults about the whole "idea of gender" first because honestly no one is educated enough to even think about gender as being a creation of society rather than fully natural. It's invisible and that's "normal". Once people see the distinction and understand that it is not acceptable (which is hard because the human race hates change) our children's children might have a chance at equal, de-ignorized living.
ReplyDeleteI think that this “experiment” has the potential to cause harm to the child, maybe not now, but later in life. I understand the parents’ goal in trying to stop or limit society’s influence on gender, but I do not think that it is something that I would “experiment” on my own child. I agree that humans are very much influenced by societal or parental behaviors. I think that biology has a little to do with influencing gender, but majority of it is learned behavior.
ReplyDeleteI worry that Storm (and even his brothers) will be bullied or outcast by others because of the non-typical way they dress, act, wear their hair. The parents may think that they are doing their children a “favor” by letting them “choose” their gender, but it could actually turn out to do more harm. I think the idea of letting a child “choose” their gender is also flawed. I think that a child is influenced in some way or another. Whether the parents realize it or not, any interaction they have with Storm is influencing his behavior. A child cannot just magically “feel” masculine or feminine. I agree with Laina Genovesi that, “It seems to me that the family is not actually letting the children choose their fate, but they are praising the behavior of acting out the stereotypes of the opposite sex.” I think that this statement is spot on!
Parents should think about the consequences of defying societal standards or norms and the effect that is could have on society against their child later on.
Although it is cynical to assume that Storm's parents are sacrificing it to make a political point, the extremity of their behavior is misguided. Society does enforce gender roles that have harmful components- like encouraging passivity in females and aggression in males- however, there is nothing inherently wrong with femininity or masculinity, as long as there is choice. While Storm's parents should not keep Storm's sex from it, I do think they are correct in allowing their children to pick and choose what colors, toys, and games they prefer regardless of their genitals.
ReplyDeleteKeeping Storm's sex a secret from the world and the child itself seems to imply that there is something wrong with associating with a gender. The stereotypical is not harmful because it is common, it is harmful because it constrains. If a little boy wants to play with Barbies and play football, he should be allowed to do so, not made to believe that they are mutually exclusive because of his sex.